I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Randomize
