My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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