It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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