i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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