Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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