Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
