Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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