someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Randomize
