Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize