Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
