I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
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in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
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I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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