Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize