Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she peed on how many people?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize