Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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