"it" just moved
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
