Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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