so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
