what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
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I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
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So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon