her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
