i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
