Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
