They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
