Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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