she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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