it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
