I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize