between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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