I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
