If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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