I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
