THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
