That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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