she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
