Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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