fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
her vagine was all disorganized.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
