So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
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He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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