He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
