she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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