im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
