smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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