loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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