We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish you could order shots online.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
