i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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