i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
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If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
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Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
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