I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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