I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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