you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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