their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
