Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.