It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.