Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.

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  (717): If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone. http://tfl.nu/j92l
  Replies (13) Good night (661) Bad night (3070)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.

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  (505): That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club. http://tfl.nu/cpxm
  Replies (44) Good night (1163) Bad night (6593)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.

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  (612): I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills. http://tfl.nu/7aj5
  Replies (52) Good night (6636) Bad night (3673)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.

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  (602): You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary. http://tfl.nu/hnqx
  Replies (24) Good night (5561) Bad night (1203)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.

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  (941): I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch. http://tfl.nu/0s5t
  Replies (16) Good night (3073) Bad night (1337)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?

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  (219): He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back? http://tfl.nu/dswq
  Replies (12) Good night (946) Bad night (2695)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those

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  (704): Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell (1-704): Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those http://tfl.nu/iyze
  Replies (4) Good night (1792) Bad night (994)
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  (619): View more from California

  I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands

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  (619): I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands http://tfl.nu/vlc3
  Replies (4) Good night (1586) Bad night (568)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities

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  (646): Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities http://tfl.nu/7b3i
  Replies (4) Good night (948) Bad night (538)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.

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  (251): Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile. http://tfl.nu/y0n1
  Replies (4) Good night (1078) Bad night (463)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.

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  (403): Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull. http://tfl.nu/z0zm
  Replies (1) Good night (429) Bad night (466)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits

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  (204): He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits http://tfl.nu/uf23
  Replies (5) Good night (454) Bad night (754)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.

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  (647): I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation. http://tfl.nu/zjsi
  Replies (1) Good night (371) Bad night (184)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there

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  (540): I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there http://tfl.nu/auk6
  Replies (0) Good night (266) Bad night (114)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year

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  (208): I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year http://tfl.nu/kbnc
  Replies (0) Good night (221) Bad night (196)

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