Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
my liver is dry heaving
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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