I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
