She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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