I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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