I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
