Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
