trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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