grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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