omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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