Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
