i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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