no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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