Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
