Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
