Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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