just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
