jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
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She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
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Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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